Hiking to turn the pages
So, now I live in a new community and want to find friends with similar interests in my age group. I no longer have school aged kids nor a husband to help me build my social circles. I knew I had to purposely put myself out there but how? Enter the Meetup App. Have you used it? Admittedly, I’m adverse to apps (just ask my kids—I protest whenever companies say I have to add an app in order to get the sale deal, but that’s another post ...) and using technology to meet people seems unorthodox in some way. But to accomplish my goals and keep myself sane, I had to ignore my old ways. I’ve always been uncomfortable being the “new person” in groups—I’d been forced to do that as a kid because my dad was in the Navy. My insecurities about my looks, my age, and my intelligence were telling me to stay indoors. Nope! Melora Fern 2.0.’s voice was stronger. So, I signed on to Meetup and began searching for different interest groups in the NC Triangle area.
A beautiful sunset on a hike
I highly recommend Meetup. It is easy to use, vetted, and there are many types of groups online. The way it works is you search under your interests, find a group, read through their events and attend an event. Some groups are private—which means you need to fill out a questionnaire so the leader can approve you joining their group. Since moving to North Carolina, I’ve joined an independent movie group, a book club, a “mature” social group, and this women 50+ hiking group.
For the first outing, I spent ten minutes in my car convincing myself to join this new hiking group. By the time we’d gone through introductions, walked along the Eno Riverwalk for about a quarter of a mile—lightning flashed and we hurried back to our cars. I almost allowed it to be a sign to give up. But I persevered and convinced myself that the “universe” did want me to hike with these ladies. I signed up for another one and have been hiking regularly with this Meetup group for well over a year now.
The Women 50+ Hiking group is unique in that the leaders cap the number of hikers at eight. At first that was frustrating because it was challenging to get into a hike. But I adapted and changed my expectations. I learned to join the waitlist and spots opened up or I planned ahead and signed up for hikes weeks in advance. Having only eight of us at a time allows for deeper conversations and friendships to form. Soon we started meeting for lunch after hikes and doing things together outside of the Meetup group. It took time, courage, and perseverance but now several of these ladies are my close friends. Each hike was different and none of this process was perfect—gaining a new community takes effort, self-convincing-conversations, and a sense of humor!
And the best thing is we’re hiking along rivers, among tall trees, stopping to study interesting mushrooms, local wildlife or colorful flowers. Being outside for several hours is soul gratifying. The days I hike, I have a more positive attitude—from sharing with friends or surrounded by nature or both! Yes, sometimes my legs are sore from that steep climb to the outlook and easing out of my car takes extra effort, but it’s all worth it!
What interest would you like to pursue with new people? Perhaps searching on the Meetup App in your area is something you could try. Please share your experiences with me in the comments below.
Stay curious and get outside,
~Melora Fern
